More to come...

My New Year's resolution is - wait for it - to give up wine once again.  I like playing these little games with myself, just to see how long I can go until I break down and gulp some yummy, delicious vino.  This year starts on the 2nd of January because an old friend will be in town until then.  More to come...

Can I post...

I'm not sure if I am breaking my own rules here because when I started this blog, it was meant as a trial to see how my perspective on life would change while not drinking wine.  Well, it's holiday season, and I sure as hell ain't putting down the bottle just yet, however, I thought I should dust off the ol' blog and blog about something.  So, here goes...

The last blog post was way back in February after I put in an order for yet another car that was yet another FIAT.  In that blog, I talked about how it would arrive 6-8 weeks later.  It turns out that it arrived on June 28th.  I will tell you something.  Ordering a car is a true test in patience. 

Lil' Nicky

Anyway, the new car is killer.  It's tiny, it's fast, and I swear this is the one I will keep until the next obsession in automobile manufacture comes my way.  And I gotta tell you, I don't see anything on the horizon just yet.  This may be a sigh of relief for some.

I can't afford this.  And it's not in the US of A yet. But if it were...Ok.  So it's an Alfa Romeo called the 4C, and it has a rear mounted engine and it competes with...wait!!!  Like I said earlier.  Nothing is on the horizon.

I went to Portugal this summer.  Curtis, Katy, Suzette and myself took a nice little road trip to Lisbon, Sintra, the Algarve, Gibraltar, Seville, Evora, and then back up to the village.  Let's break this down, shall we:

In Lisbon, we stayed at this neat hotel where I had stayed before.  It was right in the thick of it all, as long as "the thick of it" is the touristy Biaxa part of town.  There was absolutely no parking, and garages were out of the question as we were all broke, except maybe Katy.  Suzette secures us a spot in a loading zone for two days.  We all crossed our fingers and trusted her "good" judgement.  When we left to go to Sintra the next day, the car was still there thank god.  

Dinner on the first night was at this amazing restaurant that Rick Steves suggested in his travel book.  Katy was super excited to check it out as I had convinced her that Rick Steves was the best tour guide when travelling Europe.  Bottom line, it sucked, however that chicken was the butt of many jokes from here on out and so we were thankful for that.  The restaurant was in the middle of the tourist area, which here's my bit of advice for anyone travelling and eating.  Leave the tourist area.  When was the last time anyone was like, "Hey, let's check out that amazing restaurant in Fisherman's Wharf".  Ok, Ok, I admit it.  WHEN Hooters was still around in San Francisco (weird, right?), I would make friends go out to eat in Fisherman's Wharf to go there. But now that it's gone, there is nothing worthwhile over there.  

Hooters.

We then went to see a Fado at, hands down, probably the best Fado house in Lisboa.  We saw a few performers, including one that may have been a drag queen.  Curtis bought the drag queen's CD and she signed it.  She wasn't really a drag queen, however no amount of make up can make that look either female or young.  Katy made us listen to Fado in the car for the next few jaunts.  She also bought a few CD's herself so we had plenty of depressing music to listen to while on vacation.

After the Fado, we ended up going out to the bars.  I don't ever remember having that much fun bar hopping and stealing glassware.  

The next day, Curtis and Katy bought shoes.  We also finally rode the Santa Justa Elevator.  I've been meaning to do this since I first went to Lisbon in 2006.  A word of advice to anyone who has a fear of heights and climbing rickety, narrow, spiral staircases: you might like to Elevator from the ground floor.  Ooo, I just remembered.  While on top of the Elevator, there was this family of Swedes? who are having their kids pose as if they were models.  They had some pretty professional photography equipment with them, so maybe it was legit.  All I can remember was that they had abnormally blond hair, weren't albino, and probably weighed 100 pounds between the two of them.

This is a photo from 2006.  I can't believe I don't have a more recent photo of my obsession in Lisboa.

That afternoon we drove to Sintra to check out a really big house and some really cool grounds and undergrounds.  Suzette snuck us in, which it turns out that you can pretty much sneak into any attraction in Portugal if you are willing to tour, minus the map.  Well in this case, we needed the map.  I didn't know what for at first, but Sue knew.  So we ended up following a family from Italy who we cleverly called "The Italians", who foolishly had paid admission, and therefore had a map.  The young guy with that group was wearing white, see-through capris and you could see his underwear coming through the white fabric.  That would become our marker for following the correct family of capri-wearing Italians.  Following The Italians, we made it to the top of this hill.  I still had no idea what we were doing.  I thought we were just walking around some cool grounds with paths to nowhere.  At the top of this hill was a spiral staircase that led down into the ground for like 200 feet.  This was our destination.  Thank you, The Italians.

The Staircase.

You walk down the staircase all the way to the bottom where there is only one path.  At first, the path was decently lit, but then they either ran out of money or wanted to freak people out.  It was pitch black dark and everyone was using their cell phones to find their way through the labyrinth of tunnels. I still have no clue what the tunnels were about.  I suppose if we had paid admission, that information would have been included - along with the map.

Fear the Beard...

Recently, I have been challenged by my friends Sofia and Carley to grow a beard.  I have until my birthday to grow it out.  The rules are that I can shape it, but I cannot shorten it.  What that means is that I can look like a cleaned up homeless bum as opposed to a complete crackhead homeless bum.  I have until my birthday on March 1st, and on that day, I can shave it off and claim my prize - a coveted dinner at Joe's of Westlake.  On them, of course. 

The Destination.

                  


Why is it so coveted, you may be foolishly asking yourself?  Well, Joe's of Westlake is a fine dining establishment in Daly City that offers top of the line cuisine and an ambiance that will not disappoint.  Upon entering, one may order a leisurely cocktail in the stylish and ultra-chic lounge where you will meet some of Daly City's finest.  Soak up the vibe, because it will surely be burned into memory for quite a long time.  

Clearly a place to see and BE SEEN!

When your table is ready, the kind host will escort you and your party to a comfortable table surrounded by diners enjoying their experience.  Yes, a night out at Joe's is an experience that all must revel in at some point in their lifetime.  

It's like you've died and gone to heaven.

Once seated, the extensive wine list will surely please any wine connoisseur's palate.  Their cellar is stocked of only the world's best, so be sure to select wisely, as you want to find just the right wine to compliment your gourmet meal.  

Although I am mostly not indulging, I will be at this dinner. 

There really aren't any words to describe the fare at Joe's of Westlake - other than simply divine, of course.  The knowledgeable waitstaff with years of experience will help you navigate through the (what seems to be endless) menu of delicious appetizers, entrees, and side dishes.  Chef's specials need no fanfare at Joe's.  Whatever you fancy, your taste buds will be craving for more.  

How could you resist?

And don't forget to indulge in one of Joe's decadent desserts paired with a fine port.

You know you want it.

Yes, a challenge is about to be won by yours truly.  The losers are in for an experience that they thought they would never EVER get a chance to experience EVER again.  In the end, I consider us all winners.  

My new obsession...

Yesterday, as I sat in a courthouse in Oakland waiting to see if I would be selected as a juror, I had an idea.  But I promised myself that the idea would only become reality if I did not get chosen to be a juror.  It was a little deal I made with myself as I quietly sat there listening to my fellow citizens respond to personal questions from a judge and two lawyers.  By 10:00 on day two they selected their initial 12 jurors and then recessed for 15 minutes to reconvene and select two alternates.  I was still in the running.  Fifteen minutes later or so, we all mosey on back in to the courtroom to await our fate.  There were about 8 of us left.  I had a 1 in 4 chance of being selected to perform my civil duty for the next few weeks. 




I wasn't selected.  And as a result...

Beautiful, isn't it. 

I drove directly to the new Fiat dealership in Berkeley to place my order for a new Fiat 500 Abarth.  Call me crazy, I know.  I seem to have a new car every few years.  In this case, year.  If I could afford both Donna 468 and the Abarth, I would keep both.  But I can't.  

From behind.  Beautiful, ins't it.

This isn't a farewell to Donna.  Not yet anyway.  The Abarth won't be delivered for about 6-8 weeks - plenty of time to say goodbye and enjoy my final days with a car that I really love, but know that there is another waiting in the wings.  

Unless I win the lottery, I will be saying goodbye. 

What gives me solace is knowing that someone will take good care of her.  But I can't help but wonder, am I now like that weirdo on the show My Strange Addiction?  The one where the guy has an emotional and sexual relationship with his car (a cherry red 1998 Monte Carlo that he has named Chase). 

God I hope not.

Smartphones is dumb...

I have one.  A "smart" phone. It tells me stuff at the touch of an icon or the voice of a command.  It has navigation, and can get me to where I need to be, albeit in a sometimes circuitous route.  I can waste hours playing Tiny Tower or Words with Friends.  I can also watch movies from a used Netflix account I borrowed from a friend.  I can also make calls (crazy, right!).  All this neato stuff, and yet, I wish I sort of had a dumb phone again.  Why?


I'll tell you why.  The other day, I was on BART riding into San Francisco.  It was rushhour and so the trains were pretty full.  Among the hundreds of people were hundreds of handheld devices - smartphones, tablets, kindles.  And then I noticed something very strange among the riders in my particular car.  Some wierdo was reading a book.  With pages!  I was intrigued.  I don't ride public transportation as a general rule and so I am not usually around this type of commuter community.  A book?  What was wrong with him?  Clearly he was a weirdo.


Then I looked around and saw all the other drones - I mean "people" - with their heads staring at a screen.  They looked like zombies, totally immersed I their tiny world in front of them, not even aware that they were on a train with other people.  I bet the train could have crashed and no one would have noticed. It was sort of creepy.  Almost science-fiction.  I understand that riding the train can get monotonous day after day, but these devices seem to be zapping the humanness out of humanity.  What I like to do on the train is people watch.  There is no better form of entertainment when traveling with strangers than people watching.


I get it.  The devices keep one entertained while moving from point A to point B.  I'm assuming no one knew each other as no one was talking to each other, which was strange to me as well, but I'm not sure why.  It's just so strange to me how technology is moving at such a rapid pace.  The idea of nastalgia seems to be withering away at the same time for new generations that are growing up with this type of technology that promotes little direct interpersonal interaction and immediate satisfaction.  When was the last time you went to a record store or a book store to get the latest release of your favorite band or writer?  I can't even find a record store or a book store for that matter.  Nope.  Just download your song and viola!  Things just don't have any weighted value as they once did, and therefore it seems like we are turning into a race of robots that lived and did stuff and died.  Perhaps I should go into the tombstone business and engrave a slew of them with that very saying.  "Here lies so and so.  He lived.  Did stuff.  And died."  Sounds about as interesting as his life.  And it sounds like I would make millions.


Back to the guy with the book.  The book allowed him to go off into his own mind while riding BART.  Sure.  Just like the smartphone and like devices.  But one thing that I liked about seeing that relic of a piece of entertainment was that it served a purpose in that setting only - and maybe the bathroom at work.  He most likely doesn't pull it out at dinner with friends, or at the bar with friends, or while having coffee with friends.  That is my problem with the "smart" devices.  It provides way too much instant gratification for the user, but makes those around you feel as though they are less important than what it is that you NEED to know from some other schlep who is not paying for your beer.  I'm beginning to miss those days.


(This blog post was created on a smart device while in the company of my dog that licked me until I gave him some attention.  Hmmmm...)

Bring it, 2012...

It is that time of year again, and I must make myself suffer.  I have decided to give up alcohol as my new year's resolution.  This past year was an eye-opener for sure.  I realized that I really like sparking wine a little too much (magnum bottles of Cristalino by the case give anyone a clue?), and that white wine doesn't have to be all that bad, just not as good.  But on a hot day, which is rare around these parts, white wine works well.  But, now that I have come to enjoy sparkling wine, there really is no reason for white wine.  So, I'm back to square one. 

Delicious in all its forms.  Especially the magnum bottle.

Beer.  I LIKE beer, but I don't LOVE beer.  The time and place has to be right.  The meal I just ate cannot have been an El-Zocalo burrito.  And anything darker than PBR...forget about it.  It makes me feel bloated and gives me heartburn.  However, an Irish Car Bomb?  That's a horse of a different color.

Our hidden secret.  Just no beer with the burrito.  Oy.

The hard stuff is for mixing.  Too much work if you ask me.  Anyone who isn't an old Russian woman is lying to you that they enjoy Vodka straight up.  Gin tastes like crap, and what the hell is "Desorano"?  

You can see every drop of vodka in this woman's face.

So, clearly I am trying to imbibe as much alcohol as I can before the faucet turns off on January 1st, 2012.  Not Midnight, January 1st.  Heck, I don't go back to work until the 3rd.  I'm no fool - 11:59.59pm January 1st.  I have this fantastic idea of throwing an After Christmas Christmas Party because, quite frankly, there is nothing more depressing than all the hype everyone must endure starting after Halloween with very little product come December 25th.  I mean, KOIT stops the Christmas music immediately at 12:00am on December 26th.  Depressing, right?  I say no more!  Let's make the magic last for just a wee bit more.  Even if it means having a few people over for a cocktail.  At least it isn't the abrupt end to another holiday season like it is every year.  Oh wait.  There's New Year's Eve.  Meh.
              

This image best captures how we all probably feel the day after Christmas.

Cabbage Soup Diet...

I wouldn't recommend the Cabbage Soup Diet to anyone who enjoys life.  It simply sucks the fun out of it.  Not only does it sound boring, its name literally means boring.  Seriously, look it up.  I mean, the name itself spurs images of nothing interesting at all - "cabbage", "soup", and "diet".  Put them together and...viola! Instant nap.  

Don't bother.  It sucks.

So I went on this diet for two reasons.  One, because Michaela said I should, and two, because I didn't have a better idea when I said I was going to "Grab the bull by its horns" (meaning, reclaim my life after yet another year of starting work and not wanting to).  I swear that if I had a new job, things would be different.  But I don't.  However, now there's talk of Toronto, and Emeryville, and SSRI's, and blood pressure medications, and cholesterol...  I'm telling you, I think I might have to start using Cabbage Soup as a metaphor (or a simile - I can never remember which) for life.  There is nothing more simple than Cabbage Soup, and honestly, I wish my life were that simple sometimes.  Just not as bland.  

Charlie Brown just told Lucy about his Amazing Cabbage Soup.

I'm actually sitting at my desk that we are borrowing from Minette because it doesn't fit in her apartment, waiting for Curtis' flight to land.  I was supposed to be napping, but my brain kept racing and my lower intestines kept grumbling.  I am actually killing time until I have to head on over to the airport.  And what was on my mind?  Cabbage Soup.  Tomorrow is day number 4, which means I get to eat 8 bananas and drink loads of skim milk.  I truly do not know why I am following this diet other that the fact that I needed something to follow that had rules and guidelines, cuz we all know there ain't any at work.  Kachow!

Gross.

God I hate bananas.